Today was just one of those days. Nothing bad happened (actually, nothing happened at all) but all day I was bothered by the mild yet persistent recurring thought that I am wasting my life. I can't really make a case that I'm not wasting it - I really am and I realise that - but I just don't know where to go from here. I'm so bogged-down with regret and pessimism that I feel like I'm just idly watching the days go by.
I feel like I don't belong in this world, like I don't understand how it works and can't contribute anything to it. I need to do something to get me thinking more constructively. I need a goal, long-term or short term, something I can work towards. I need to stop whinging about my life and start doing something. And I need to stop thinking so much - it's hazardous to my health.
I hope this mood will have passed by tomorrow morning but such moods seem to occur more and more frequently these days. I really need to figure myself out or this is just going to keep happening.
3 comments:
Hi Muser,
I checked your profile and saw another clue about you. Don't be despondent about your day. We all have days like that; even while we are at work! Your short term goal is a post a day on your blog; something that you are quite good at. Have you thought about helping out in your local community? That will give you a long term goal. Yes you are making yourself sick with worry."Don't worry worry,lest worries worry you". BTW A clue to my age is in my blog Header Title. I mean all that I have said in a kind way.
Cheers,
M.
I apologize for my absence from commenting on your blog. My boys have been ill all week, and I have been trying to play catchup at work since I missed two days at the beginning of the week to take care of them. Yes, I agree, you need to get out of this funk before it becomes unbearable. Perhaps speaking with a phycologist or therapist may help you sort through your issues, but you are not in a healthy frame of mind. Perhaps an antidepressant would help. But I think what would really help is just a fresh start someplace else. YOu should attempt to focus on positive things about yourself, your life, your education, any thing that is good. I don't care what it is, but you certainly need to stop the negitivity. If nothing else take a step back at look at people less fortunate than you, maybe then you can see good and wonderful things in your life, and once you are able to see them, then you need to maintain your focus on that. Don't worry about set backs because we all have them from time to time. I hope this has helped you somewhat. I am sure you have many positive things about yourself. Please search deeply and find them.
Hi Muser,
It's late, just after mid -night and I thought I would come by again. I am concerned about you and hope that this comment finds you feeling better about yourself and the world in general.
M.
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