Development

I've been thinking about the sort of things I've written about over the past few weeks and I'm starting to wonder whether I sound like I'm stuck in high school, chasing girls and worrying about what people think of me. It's true, that's what I was like in high school, pining over one particular girl and spending far too much time concerning myself with what people thought of me. For the most part, however, I didn't let that get in the way of the rest of my life. Now, in my mid-twenties, I'm concerned that I haven't grown up as much as I should have since then. While I'm certainly not living the hedonistic life of an eternal teenager, I don't think I've outgrown my teenage flaws and insecurities yet.

Every year, more and more people who graduated from school years after I did are getting married, becoming doctors and lawyers or whatever they've decided to do with their lives. I just don't understand why I'm not moving on. I'm not comparing myself to people in a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses type of way, just as a frame of reference. I don't begrudge anyone their success, I just don't know why I've arrested the progress of my life and have, for so long now, remained static.

I don't want to get into it too deeply right now; the main thing I wanted to get across tonight - and it seemed I got more than a little side-tracked on the way - was that I hope I'm not coming across as extremely immature. All this talk of 'I like this girl but she doesn't like me...' is most at home in the hallways of a high school and I don't want to come across as vacuous. I realise there are far bigger issues worthy of discussion so please don't think I spend my days recycling these thoughts in my head. It's just that whenever I sit down to write a post, that's what comes out. Like I think I mentioned once before, for a little while at least, blogging is going to be my therapy.