A Lark

On a less serious note than usual:

I played tennis again a couple of days ago. I mention this only because there are a couple of girls who work at the reception desk where I play tennis with my friend. A couple of very attractive girls. They're not always there but about half the time one of them is there behind the desk. As you may have guessed from my post a couple of weeks ago ('The Girl') I find it difficult to even make polite conversation in these situations; I'm usually all business: pay for the court, collect the key, and get out of there.

As my friend and I were walking out of the reception area and down the path towards our court I asked him how he would ask one of the girls out, just to get a different perspective on things. He knows how much I struggle in these sort of situations - he's known me more than ten years so he's seen it first hand on more than one occasion - but he's got a girlfriend and he doesn't seem to struggle talking to the opposite sex. If it seems like I'm approaching this as if I'm a nervous high school kid, it may explain a lot if I tell you that my last relationship was when I was in high school. But that's a story for another day.

My friend's response was simple: just say, "I was just wondering if you're seeing anyone?" He went on to say that if she says yes then he would say, "he's a very lucky guy," and if she says no then he'd just ask her out - to dinner or a movie or whatever. Simple as that. I was rather astounded by the simplicity of his approach. I asked him whether he was serious or whether he was just winding me up and he assured me he wasn't kidding, he figures being casual and up-front is the best way to approach it. No stupid pick-up lines or anything, just be straight-up. Do people actually say stuff like that? My friend seems to think there's no harm trying. I'm just not too sure. I've since contemplated saying something like that and it doesn't feel right. I've never been able to say anything like that in the past - although I've rarely been able to string coherent sentences together when talking to someone I'm attracted to so maybe I should just throw caution to the wind and try it. What's the worst that could happen?

Realistically, nothing that bad could happen. She could say no. She could laugh at me. That's about it. Nothing would be hurt except my pride, unless she's a judo master or something who attacks guys who hit on her, but what are the odds of that? I usually can't work up the courage to say something like this, partly because I don't exactly see myself as the catch of the day, and partly because I don't like making people uncomfortable. I don't want to put someone in a position where they've got to either make up a lie about why they can't go out with me or hurt my feelings. Just writing that down makes me realise that's such a cop-out. And I've been hiding behind that one for years. It doesn't even make sense. All someone's got to say is 'no thanks', or something to that effect, how difficult could that be? I'm not going to use that excuse anymore.

I've asked, at most, maybe a dozen girls out over the last ten years. They've all turned me down. That doesn't fill me with confidence. A couple of years ago I couldn't have been more pathetic when I asked out this one girl out. I literally couldn't have been more pathetic. I told a friend about it afterwards and he told me I was a disgrace to all mankind. Now that some time has passed I look back at the situation and laugh at how ludicrously stupid I was to say what I said. Actually, there are a couple of instances where, through nerves or whatever, I've handled it very badly. Again, I'll write about those another time. It might give you a laugh.

Now that I think about it, why should I let my less-than-stellar track record stop me? Really, why should I let that hold me back? What have I got to lose? Even if I just did it as a lark, worst-case scenario I'll have something to blog about that day. Stay tuned for updates - if I ever work up the courage to actually go through with it. I know it's going to be a lot harder in the moment than it is just sitting here in front of my computer.